Sunday, December 27, 2009

Watch your words,
watch your step.
He's listening,
he's watching.
You've seemed to impress him,
an accomplishment.
Months go on, he is yours,
you have him.
Conversations with ease,
every touch seems effortless.

You've seemed to have lost your self,
a death, what has happened to your caution?

Watch his eyes,
watch his grin.
is it honest?
is it meaningful?
He does not worry, therefore he must not care.
This is different, there must be reason he's lasted,
Unlike the others you've tossed and forgotten.
Navigate through your dead thoughts, find why you love him.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Yellow Bruise

A mist drawn skull reflected on heated glass, you saw death before it came,
I can see a lot in you, a fires flame turned blue.

A Sinatra voice, lulling her into a mossy daze,
Now a danger to myself, a self portrait on the wall.

In the house, your a lover in a hole, an inescapable soul,
A hideous thing inside, I waited patiently for it to emerge.

Now needing restriction, i could no longer obey a strange conviction,
Trying to respect unwanted honor, you held your tongue and listened.

Decisions unable to make, typical to cling to memories you can not fake,
You could have fallen into red lips and a yellow bruise.

Salty water in her eyes, hiding from ever growing lies.
In the end you will be tired, eventually put to rest.

Burnt Hair

When your feeling lonesome a sinister grin can kill, now gone i echo through your head,
we heard them stirring in the dead of night, " WE'RE ALIVE, WE'RE ALIVE!" no time to explain all there is to know is "we're alive!"

A new series of a hunter green blur rushes by, "There's someone you've got to meet, she will kill you with love; love love love." So I stand and I breathe, with my lungs, cold, wet air.

Waiting for her, I stood, buried in thoughts of burning hair, draped in flowers, (you must be careful where you lay your head.)

There is such a lot of world to see. SPRING to life, budding conversations with the heartless ones, we would meet up with sad singers, swaying to a rhythm we didn't have to admire.

A new hunger would arise needing
A meal that was memorized

Monday, September 7, 2009

something new?

A door slammed and kale called after me in an irate manor, so I stormed down the stairs and out into the slowly emptying street. I raged through the night and subsequently ran into an artist who was wickedly full of himself and his product. I laughed loudest at this so called artist and his so called talent. I did not feel bad for hurting his pride, because an artist has not truly created art, unless he has created it to share and not just to boast about. After apologizing for my maybe too harsh rant, we sat and discussed. Many topics floated through my mind at that moment, but most we're not appropriate for this man. My undeceive mind eventually stumbled upon a descent subject about the most influential writer in the last 20 years. Which later would somehow turn into an argument about Jay-Z's lyrical history. After a few more cigarettes and a few more arguments about the history of things, I said "hopefully see you again" to the artist who I could not agree with. From there i headed towards the nearest subway station to call kale and apologize for the earliest argument. Apparently I'm the one whose difficult to communicate with.

Monday, August 24, 2009

miss you

Chosen, you now leave
knowing what you've gained is yours and it can not be taken or destroyed
"miss you" I'll hear.

but ill do more than that.

dead city

the city is dead, nothing grew from concrete.
your attempt to drive me into insanity has failed.
for once you can not tempt me
why do you think i would still want what i can not have
when i have everything i could want.

I will never give this up for you.

here comes my past again

"Here to haunt me again?" I asked
"I've told you i do not haunt, I am just a reminder of regreted mistakes"
"Why should i be reminded"
"History has a way of repeating itself"
This was too true, I could not deny the feeling that this love must fade out has been here before and a heart must be broken. I then realized something new, a feeling to keep it alive.
My past then lit up with my relization
"I do not have t0 be repeated"

and there it disapeared along with the feeling of fading love.


I'll be brief
apologies not needed
you could not wrong me
my own guilt should not be yours to carry


when will your darkness end
you've found a way into my dreams
making them nightmares
vividly i try to strike you down
but previous love holds me back
i could never wrong you


infatuated with spontaneity
you ignore my true faults

once i rid of you ( on impulse )
you will no longer love my spontaneous acts.


The sheep not slaughtered
a lonesome smile dances in a crowded forest
light has yet to escaped her
all trying to obtain what they have lost..
goodness and light


Give me your eyes
so that when I'm gone
I am able to see the grief caused
hot tears for those who cared

but, blinded who will you chose, after I've gone away.

lack there of

An afternoon
what was once there
is now not.

a twisted reflection of what is desired to envision
the end never comes and where did it start?

break through the indestructible window
that leads to a Field of meaning

a lack of inspiration


Heated fingertips
small hills arise on golden land
curtains drape in front of what needs to be seen
stretch towards nothing
cry out for silence

nothing survives

I refuse to believe that you can abandon something that once mattered,
I'm displaced by the way you could speak to me with such animosity,
I though you were something worthwhile
now a part of me will forever be lost with you.
nothing survives


how can you be so cruel like words dont have as much pain
writing words of hate make for ugly poetry

Friday, July 24, 2009

another train of thought to distract from the unwanted awkward
pour your drink of choice
as i ignore you.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

ignored endearments

They hide beneath white sheets
a sparrows voice inspires his every thought
shes glad to see the sun, that once was so timid
his eyes light with endearment as he watches her twirl
he lays beneath a tree that calms, tension was his only fault
her naive mind, ignores his stare of admiration.


green and blue
i see isle of you
leap for what you desire
once you receive
beg that the bear wont haunt you

here comes the time again... alarms ringing
to awake from embracing dreams
with inner meaning, what was lost... was it string?

twine, how divine.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

fuck your fear

As you ran across an active highway, you scream "fuck your fear".
A worried friend chases after you, and yells about your drunken antics.
Fear is what keeps us from death but also keeps us from feeling alive.
Strange how sometimes the only way to feel alive is to come close to death, to know its that simple, one car, one fall, and your gone.

Not her

For the first time in a long time I saw her...
She looked scared, unsure of what seemed so right.

It all doesn't matter anymore.

I need to be unwanted, I need to grow.
Who is this person I've become, who doesn't hold her own,
who cant break from the silence.

The everyday person I've become, I am not her.


There was one before who came and left his mark,
you covered it and left a better impression,
but i can not deny, the mark is under it all.


I suffer with thoughts that cannot reveal themselves
Frantically, i search my surroundings, hoping to find a way to feel again.
I want to know there is more than this...

Sunday, June 28, 2009


Each blink reveals a memory lost,
unnecessary but significant.


collision of words,
into a louder tone,
beaten with harsh thoughts,
not meant to be uttered
cornered you tear me, shrink me,
small enough to finish,
you catch my gaze of regret,
and put me back together with apologies.


you turned your back on me.
switch the light,
leave me in darkness...
light used to shine on angles
now black is my entirety.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

press firmly

You strum the images in my head,
my heart beat matches the cords you press firmly.
You turned me into a higher note,
You played me.


when you touch me
the feeling

distant guilt

Always distant even in your arms, she's far away.
Your eyes smile tenderly, try to bring her back.
Guilt is what keeps her close, but wonder will always be her love.

threw it away

Undeniably perfect, she still doubts... wonders...
What was lost?
How can it be lost?
When she was the one who threw it all away,
for something better.

wander your thoughts

Lying insecure in your arms,
you lift me with words of light.
I wander your thoughts,
like your fingers trailing down my spine.
I'm drenched in tears of fright.
Hang me to dry,
rinse me out,
and hang me.


Asylum I should be in,waiting for something that will never come.
Waiting in my insanity, I realize love was the best endeavor to stray away from the insane.
What might have been found.

let it run

I should have let it run,
instead I intervened.
Like all the others done,
every time I’m dropped,
someone picks me up again.

lower you dip

bite my lip
grab your chest,
bat my eyes
lower you dip,
into me

tease you with touch,
these lips you wont touch
forever in your grasp,
always far away

you wish you were lost.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

for the one

the one who gave me life
im forever grateful
the one who gave me joy
im forever content
the one who gave me shelter
im forever warm
the one who gave me love
im forever your daughter

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


White clouds on an unlit sky
haunts my ever growing lie
how did i get this far away
my thoughts fall on your lips everyday.

with it all

a girl with it all, behind it has nothing
insecurity tears at her day by day
its never enough, something holding her back
happiness is too surreal, too perfect
its let her down before
poor girl with it all
nobody sees



Wheres my release?

wheres my paper,
my pen?

wheres my thoughts?
too far off to read

Wheres my sanity?
with my thoughts,

far gone.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

see the air

That look said it all,
all that you wouldnt say,
speak to me with you're eyes,
cause i like what their saying,
hold me with your stare,
i've only got eyes for you.

Monday, April 27, 2009

early april

The snow came down early april
the warmth kept me bright
thats when you werent around early april
i was all alone for the big fight